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Giddy-up, Daddy!

Last weekend was really nice compared to all the rainy days we’ve had lately.  We tried to find some non-sodden places to go out, since any playground equipment was still all wet.  We went on a walk by Lake Chabot on Saturday and to Briones Regional Park on Sunday.

Ronin wandering off

Ronin has developed this appalling habit of just wandering off and not responding when we call him.  He ran away from my mom when she took the twins up the block to see some construction equipment a few weeks ago, and at the parks he just takes off and keeps going.  Even when we try to keep walking in hopes that he’ll realize and follow, he keeps going farther afield.  Then Claire chases after him to try to bring him back, and he convinces her to run away with him, too.   He likes to leave the path and look for mushrooms (abundant in the wet ground), and although it’s nice that he’s so excited about the local flora, it can be very difficult.

Ronin and Claire at Briones Regional Park

As far as potty training, we’re doing really well. Some days there are no accidents at all. Some days there are several, and we’ve had a few catastropoos.  Justin and I actually snapped at each other the other day when we were on a hike and I had to help Claire in an outhouse. I feel SO sorry for moms who had to potty train back in the day of outhouses, let me tell you. It was awful. For one thing, I couldn’t crouch down to help her without the brown-smeared door (I hope it was mud) hitting me on the backside. Then it was absolutely pitch-black in there. We missed. It wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t mine. It was the *&%&^$ outhouse. So then I had to clean her up in a hurry with people walking past us on the trail every 2.3 seconds, and gawking and/or casting disapproving looks (that’s what made Justin so tense), and we’d been planning on going out to dinner afterward and I felt so disgustingly filthy.

We apologized to each other and ended up having a nice dinner out with a lot of handwashing beforehand.  The children behaved perfectly at dinner and the service was fast and cheerful, and everything was much better.  We ended up taking long showers that night.

On the bright side, we’ve had a couple of public restroom trips when I had to lift a baby onto a gigantic toilet seat, and it’s worked every time. Beautifully!    I would say our average accident rate is still probably 1-2 per day, and most of the time it’s not a catastropoo.

Claire taking a rest break on the road

Ronin fell asleep while trying to climb up onto the couch

For the past several months, we’ve been having a terrible time with Ronin’s sleep patterns.  He would be reluctant to nap during the day, and then at night if he had napped, he would be up for 2+ hours after bedtime, wiggling and shouting and making a ruckus.  Claire has continued to be very good about going to sleep easily, both for naps and for bedtime.  Still, it seemed that Ronin might be ready to give up his naps.   Not only was it making us miserable to deal with the night-time shenanigans, but he was also disturbing Claire’s rest.  Most of the time, I lie down with them in their bed until they fall asleep.   It’s getting harder and harder to do that for prolonged periods now that I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and if Ronin is restless for two hours or longer, it can be very difficult.    We have also tried letting him, or them, stay alone in the room after stories and snuggle time, but that has not worked out very well either.  If one is asleep, the other one can’t stand it and shouts and jumps on the sleeping child until he or she wakes up.  Then there is running around, throwing stuff, and it usually ends in tears before too long.  No sleeping happens.

It seemed like Ronin might be ready to give up naps entirely.  There are logistical issues (and a loss of free time) with one napping baby and one awake baby, but it’s been working out pretty well for the most part and bedtime has been much easier.   On weekends, Justin takes Ronin out for a little father-son excursion while I stay with the napping Claire.  They go out for coffee and then a walk.  Lately, sometimes Claire has stayed awake too, and I can do more stuff with them on weekdays.  It’s always been a little disappointing to me that most places open at 10 AM, and naptime starts just half an hour later.

Claire and Ronin cuddling on the couch

What we have found is that napping really depends on what time they wake up and how much sleep they got the night before.  They seem to need about 11-13 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, so if we wake them up early on my work days, they both tend to want to nap.   Then that will start the cycle of Ronin staying up late again.  It seems like they can both go without naps for two days in a row and then they are extra tired and need more sleep.

Perhaps because of the change of routine and skipping naps, or maybe the increased stress of potty-training, or maybe because they’re both still coughing from their illness several weeks ago, both twins have been a little more likely to display signs of temper and frustration.  I had to leave a store the other day for the first time ever because of misbehavior.  We had a nice little outing planned, which I had discussed with the twins. We were going to go to Target, have a snack there, and then go to the playground with all the toys. Claire had a meltdown at the store. They were both riding in the back of the cart, and she kept pushing Ro, so I put her up front. She cried and screamed “Ride in back! No seatbelt!” all the way to the back of the store and then to the front, and collapsed on the ground and screamed and cried some more when I told her we were leaving because she was making too much noise. She cried and screamed all the way back to the car, stiffened her body and screamed some more while I was trying to put her in her carseat, and cried the whole way back to the house.  I was sad for them and for me, missing a fun morning’s worth of activities, but it seemed like the best option was going home.  There has also been a recent upswing in aggressive behaviors in general, like pushing and hitting and biting.

Climbing behind the couch

On the bright side, they are still doing well with their potty-training.  It seems like the average for accidents is maybe 1-2 per day total.  Some days are perfect, and some days are more difficult.    They are also very affectionate.  When I come home from work, Claire runs over to me, hops into my arms, and croons “My Mommy, my Mommy, my Mommy.”  They give us lots of hugs and tell us they love us.  Claire begs to snuggle with me, both in the morning when she first wakes up, and in the afternoons on the couch.  They hug each other and push each other on their toys and snuggle on the couch together.  Their sentences and thought processes have become more complex.  They sing along when I sing to them.  They are incredibly capable and they do mean well.  I’m sure everyone knows the feeling of being frustrated and wanting to lash out, and during those difficult days, I try to remember it is our job to teach them how to find acceptable ways to deal with those feelings.

Ronin cut out scraps of Valentine-themed paper

We glued them on more Valentine paper

Ronin showing off his paper

Claire gluing, in the brief time she wasn't throwing scraps of paper around

Once we had all the paper ready, I outlined and then cut heart shapes out of them

I finished up by gluing them on card stock and fixing them

“Buddy’s home”

Justin pointed out to me recently that when we’ve been out with the twins, Claire usually says “Buddy’s home” when we walk through the door.   He thinks that she is confusing Justin’s nickname for Ronin “Little Buddy” with the terms anybody, somebody, nobody, etc.   Another funny word mix-up is Ronin wrapping himself up in my shirt and saying that he’s being a raccoon.  It took me a while to realize he meant cocoon, but it helped when he turned into a butterfly.

Splish splash

We’ve had a long rainy week with lots of flooding.  Our hot water heater went out twice due to the storms.  Claire and Ronin heard thunder for the first time, and got excited about it.  They have a Dr. Seuss book that mentions thunder, so they already knew it made a big boom sound, and they were happy to make the connection.  It’s been challenging to find things for them to do and keep them excited about staying inside.  We have gone for a few wet walks around the neighborhood, but it’s so much cozier in here.

I was taking a bath

We’ve been doing arts and crafts, bouncing on the trampoline, and getting on and off the potties frequently.  They took a bath in the afternoon just to have something different to do (mostly we take showers) and play with the bath toys.  I finally got a video of Claire singing part of the alphabet song.   She can do the whole thing on her own, but she mostly sings in the car and I can’t capture that.  For the past few months, Claire and I have been singing to each other, a little Claire song that goes like this:  Wa, wa, wa.  I repeat it back to her:  Wa, wa, wa.  Then she changes it a little bit, and I sing it back again.  It’s been really fun singing back and forth.

This weekend it is supposed to stop raining for an interlude before raining again all next week.   We seized the opportunity to go for a walk this morning, and tried out a new regional park, Las Trampas.  I am really glad I have a portable folding potty, because I can’t imagine what we would do otherwise.  It is nice to be able to whip this thing out within 30 seconds of someone saying “I’m going right now, Mommy!”

Las Trampas Regional Park

We walked on a paved path up a long, steep hill, and then came back down again.  We examined the multitudes of mushrooms growing everywhere, and looked at the two creeks.  It was so nice getting outside on a sunny day and it did wonders for my mood.  By the time we got home, despite a forecast to the contrary,  it started raining again.

Little Buddy and Claire

Totland

I’ve heard about this playground for a while, but never knew where it was when I was out and about.  Today, Justin used his new phone to look it up and navigate us to the right block in Berkeley, and we found it to be a toddler’s paradise.

Totland

It is full of outgrown and donated toys for children from infancy to preschool age.  There are trucks galore–bulldozers, diggers, fire trucks, police cars.  There are tricycles and scooters.  There are activity centers, exersaucers, ride-on toys, push toys and balls.  There is a sand-and-water area and the obligatory structure and slide and swings.  All gates automatically swing closed and have latches too high for the average toddler to reach, so it’s a safe playground.

Claire driving a car at Totland

The twins ran from toy to toy, truck to truck, tricycle to scooter, trying each item out.  I heard Ronin say, “Oh, wow!” countless times.  It was a lot of fun.  Claire hopped on a scooter and rode on it like she’d been doing it forever.    They got really messy, playing around in the dew-laden playground and digging in the sand, but it was totally worth it.

Sand toys

It’s been difficult going on outings with the twins and potty-training at the same time.  I took them both to a playground last week and had to run back to the car three times within half an hour to re-visit the potty chairs.  It is really hard to grab the happily-playing twin to accompany the other one back to the car, because the one who doesn’t need to use the potty gets fretful that we’re leaving and doesn’t have the same urgency.   There are a lot of false alarms and an occasional accident.  It is much easier to go out with Justin, but it’s still not relaxing.  Our excursions tend to be shorter than they would otherwise be.  We have not gone on any long walks in a while.

Ronin cuddling with Justin

Overall, they are doing much better than the last time I wrote.  We still need to remind them to sit on the potty chairs, but they have gone for entire days with few or no accidents.  It is really hard work for all of us, but I would much rather be doing this now than with a small baby to care for as well.  Despite the really tough week, there are little moments of joy.  The other morning, I saw Claire grab Ronin for a hug and say “I love you, No-nin.”  Ro hugged her back and said “I love you too, Claire.”  So sweet!

Sick again

Ronin and Claire

I think this makes three times in two months, which is a big shock considering they didn’t really get sick at all their first year.   I’ve never seen Ronin this sick.  He started complaining of hurting all over his body two days before he got the fever.  It went up to 102° before I gave him Advil, and it didn’t actually go down that much even after the medicine.    He was listless and wouldn’t eat, and kept nodding off in my arms when we ate dinner the first night. He didn’t want to be put down at all, so my mom held him the whole time I was at work and then the next day I held him all day myself.   Justin called me on his way home yesterday and I told him I hadn’t showered, unloaded the dishwasher, or put away the laundry, and I didn’t think I was going to be able to make dinner because I couldn’t put Ronin down at all.

Ronin and fountain

We brought him back to our bed the first night, which didn’t seem to decrease the awakenings or the crying, but it seemed to comfort him and it was less distance for me to go to settle him down.  He ended up developing a cough and a runny nose after the fever and body aches, but is on the mend by now.   He had us worried for a while.   Claire was also sick, but not nearly to the extent Ronin was.  In the meantime, she has been such a sweetheart, giving Ronin hugs and telling him to feel better.

Claire at the wall

Since they were feeling a little better today, I packed some extra Kleenex and took them out for a brief excursion with my mom.  They played at the playground and climbed up and down the steps at Joaquin Miller Park.  They loved it and didn’t want to leave.  However, I didn’t want to be gone from the potties too long, since the potty training success we had over the long weekend seems to be decreasing–whether it’s due to illness or motivation, I’m not sure.  Whatever the case, they’re obviously capable of going without diapers and I don’t want to give it up.

Claire at the pool

Something I forgot to mention last time was when we went to the Little Farm, Claire asked about pinwheels.  It’s been four months since we went there for the festival and we danced and made pinwheels.  We are so impressed with her long-term memory!  Both of them have been reminiscing about going to the zoo during Christmas week, and they remember the lights and exactly which animals they rode on the merry-go-round and that we went on a train ride, but this was much farther back.

Yay potty training!

Claire upside down in her training pants

Both twins have started standing on their heads on the couch.  They love it, and I think it’s cute.  Claire will probably hate this picture when she gets older.

I have to say it has gone swimmingly so far. Swimmingly in both the waterlogged term and also the really good way. I used the padded training pants this time instead of plain underwear, which are a little thicker and more absorbent. It helped a lot. There were a lot of accidents the first day. I used a timer and put them on the potty every 15 minutes for 5 minutes at a time. I gave them salty snacks and lots of watered-down juice (they never get it, so it was a big treat and they drank tons). Even then, I had to do laundry four times that day to keep up with the 12 pairs of training pants we had.  Ronin coincidentally peed in the potty twice, and got a mini M&M both times.  Claire claimed to have peed in the potty multiple times, hoping for candy, but we kept reminding her that she actually needed to pee in there. So many accidents!

The next day was better. It was about half potty, half accident. The nice thing about the training pants was even when they went on the floor, it wasn’t as big a puddle as it would be otherwise. Sometimes it didn’t even make it to the floor. We jumped up and down, clapped our hands, and gave a mini M&M for each success. Still, every time they went in the potty it seemed like sheer happenstance. They were just parked there and happened to go.  Justin and I had a serious conversation about whether or not they were ready to continue potty-training that night, and I asked for the remaining two days of the weekend before making a decision.

Yesterday, the third day, was amazing!!!! There was only one accident the whole day. Both of them deliberately went to the potty and started pulling down their pants, and then used it right away. I increased the timer intervals to 20 minutes, then 30. It was obvious Ronin was waiting until potty time before letting loose. We rewarded them by taking them out to the Little Farm and feeding cows and sheep, and the whole 2-hour outing they both stayed dry, even though we offered them a potty seat in the car a few times. That evening, Ronin was playing with his trucks on the floor in the nursery and then stood up, sprinted for the potty, pulled his pants down and immediately went. We were so proud!

We are putting them in pull-ups for outings and for nap time, and still keep them in overnight diapers at night, but I’m so, so pleased with the results. Justin and I keep beaming at each other and saying how adorable and brilliant our children are.

I’ll keep you posted if anything changes, but I have high hopes for this. I can’t even imagine how much money we’ve saved on diapers the past four days, and it will be sooo refreshing to not have diaper changes for a few months before the baby arrives. We know it’s actually more work to have to dash for restrooms, but Justin has a repetitive stress injury from changing their diapers, so it will be a good break.

Ronin and Claire, upside-down or getting there

Claire has been pretending more and more.  She hid in a clump of grass and told Justin she was being a tiger in the grass.   She has played being a character from Kai-Lan, and assigned the rest of us to be characters, too.  She loves holding up a stick or a fork and saying it’s an umbrella.

Claire

Last weekend we went to the Science Museum and Claire didn’t want to leave.  She started flailing as Justin put her in the carseat and ended up whacking him with her hand.  Justin said “You hit Daddy!”  The whole ride over to my mom’s house, Claire repeated “Daddy hit me!” which did not amuse him.  I told him I’d back him up, in between giggles.  I don’t know if she was trying to change the story on purpose, or if she was just not getting the words right.

Ronin

Justin and I have several days off in a row, for the New Year’s weekend.  Yesterday we went to the Level II ultrasound appointment, and Justin got to see our small son doing flips for the first time.   He is definitely a boy, and he is very active.   Today we are attempting potty training again.  It would be nice to have it done by the time the new baby gets here.  We removed our rug and are spending a lot of time on the potty chairs.  So far, the score is underwear 14, potty 3.  I’m on my third load of laundry for the day.

Opening presents

Sharing a present

It was so nice to have everyone over and see the twins really enjoy Christmas.   Justin and I put the play kitchen out in the living room so they would see it when they woke up and not get too antsy waiting for everyone to come over for breakfast and present-opening.   They were happy and pretended to make tea and pancakes for breakfast.

After breakfast, it was the twins’ assignment to pick out presents from under the tree and take them to be unwrapped by the recipients.

Picking out a present

Omie and Claire opening a present

Grandma and Ronin opening a present

We know what to get Manuel next year

Uncle Manuel and Aunt Dinah

Aside from the big play kitchen, Claire and Ronin got  hobbyhorses that my mom made for them, a train and track expansion kit, more dress-up clothes, toy tools and cars and airplanes, books, stuffed animals, books, ornaments, a zoo pass for the upcoming year, and other things too numerous to count.  They loved everything, little and big, and enjoyed unwrapping everything also.  I’m glad I had the foresight to move most of their old toys out to our storage in preparation for the new toys.

We had Christmas dinner at Dinah and Manuel’s house.  There were 18-month-old twins there also, and it was really sweet to see how Ronin was gentle with them and tried to share his toys and say hello.  We know he’s going to be a really good big brother.  Justin got to feel our new baby kick for the first time on Christmas Eve, which was a wonderful present for him.

Merry Christmas!

I woke up and started to cook at 4 AM today, in anticipation of Omie’s arrival tonight.  She’ll be staying until the day after Christmas.  We’re all having dinner here tonight and then I’ll have everyone over for presents and breakfast tomorrow, and then there is a Christmas dinner at my sister’s house tomorrow evening.

Just like last year, I’m going to share with you our Christmas card picture and then the pictures I did not select.

Christmas card picture

Ronin

Claire

Ronin

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